How about
“Our mission is to professionally restore scalable leadership skills and synergistically customize cost effective paradigms because that is what the customer expects.”
Or
“We exist to assertively fashion cost effective technology and globally provide access to multimedia based methods of empowerment in order to solve business problems.”
Both from Dilbert’s Mission Statement Generator.
(Via Scott Berkun’s essay “How to detect bullshit.” Mirrored here because his server got Dugg hard.)
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